September 2011
2 posts
“For some reason Maureen likes to buy things for my head. Like this one massager...”
– Mr. Tony at Fall Camp
“You love my touch.”
– Miss Sue to Mr. Tony at Fall Camp
November 2010
1 post
Precognition? →
March 2009
1 post
“After 12 years of birth….”
– Statement in one of my student’s papers - he meant “12 years after birth….”
Kate: I like the bottom gooey.
Aunt Jan: Kate, that doesn't surprise me!
Kate: What's that supposed to mean?
“Heather’s always been in the bathroom. She’s got the wee wee…”
– Grandpa
February 2009
3 posts
Seriously??
The most recent Gallup poll on the issue, conducted in May, found that only 14 percent of Americans believe that humans developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/science/02/12/darwin.birthday/index.html
January 2009
4 posts
“Oh, I forgot! I got you a “sorry you got shot” present”
– Heather to Dave
“You’re a real adult!”
– Tess to me
“My parents like to have kids in their 40s.”
– Tess
“How long was she 90?”
– Rachael
December 2008
9 posts
“Be careful, there’s supposed to be a hurricane tonight.”
– Andrew
“They had a lawn gnome and I’m afraid of gnomes”
– Andrew
Grandma: But you're bigger than her.
Nicole: Not that much bigger!
Grandma: Well, I meant your bones are denser.
Nicole: Ummm
Grandma: You're just heavier than her. Your bones are just heavier!
Nicole: How many different ways do you want to call me fat?!
Nicole: How many people were at dinner last night? That's right - nine. One person in this family doesn't have anyone. I'm never going to find anyone! I'll just get artificially inseminated!
Mom: Like a cow?
“You know what’s great about lifesavers? You can take them to church!”
– Mom
Mystery Acorn Shortage Baffles Scientists →
“I wanted a litter!”
– My boss, who apparently wanted to have 6 babies at once
“methods paper do no delete mike.doc”
– Document name for a methods paper I just received
November 2008
5 posts
“Wow, that’s like the perfect baby!”
– My sister
“It won’t take more than an hour to give a gallon of blood, right?”
– My Mom
“So the numbers in her mind were getting mixed up with the numbers in her mouth?”
– My Mom
“You got your tongue in front of your eyetooth and couldn’t see what you...”
– My Mom
“First of all, I’ve never been a teenage girl. Let’s just start...”
– Chas