December 26, 2008
“He won the best sweater award at church with that sweater!” ~ Mom “I think it looks like the Scotch Tape box” ~Heather

“He won the best sweater award at church with that sweater!” ~ Mom

“I think it looks like the Scotch Tape box” ~Heather

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  • Grandma: But you're bigger than her.
  • Nicole: Not that much bigger!
  • Grandma: Well, I meant your bones are denser.
  • Nicole: Ummm
  • Grandma: You're just heavier than her. Your bones are just heavier!
  • Nicole: How many different ways do you want to call me fat?!
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  • Nicole: How many people were at dinner last night? That's right - nine. One person in this family doesn't have anyone. I'm never going to find anyone! I'll just get artificially inseminated!
  • Mom: Like a cow?
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“ You know what’s great about lifesavers? You can take them to church!
Mom •
December 12, 2008
Mystery Acorn Shortage Baffles Scientists
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“ I wanted a litter!
My boss, who apparently wanted to have 6 babies at once •
“ methods paper do no delete mike.doc
Document name for a methods paper I just received •
November 28, 2008
“ Wow, that’s like the perfect baby!
My sister •
“ It won’t take more than an hour to give a gallon of blood, right?
My Mom •
“ So the numbers in her mind were getting mixed up with the numbers in her mouth?
My Mom •